Powertools in the Morning

I've discovered that my powertool fetish only goes so far as using them myself or watching some maddeningly attractive person use them. When it's the neighbor working on his boat when I'm trying to sleep they're suddenly less attractive.

I've had a good ten hours of sleep, though, enough to leave me uncoordinated and not quite groggy but slow-minded. I have things to do today, in all probability a lot of things, so it's not bad to get rolling.

Stuff's clicked with the SO again and we're getting along well. That's always nice. I think the fact that I used a little self-restraint entered into it, I think the fact that we talked about nothing in particular did too. It's definitely important for me to feel some connection before sex and talking's the best way to get to that if it's been broken.

This weekend: Van Deusen flower show, possibly Sin City, the SO's running a game that I prolly won't attend, need to install roses in the Other Garden and get the alyssum planted, also throw in some more radishes.

Today: laundry, housework, running with mom, dishes, and...

Oh, yeah. I have a problem.

The recent heat wave's been frying my plants. It's actually literally crisping the leaves, which isn't entirely surprising given that that balcony probably got up around 36 celsius for a couple of days. It isn't a water problem, the soil is still damp some of the way down (I should check further) I think it's simply am ability-to-move-liquid-through-stems problem. In other words the heat on my balcony may not be suitable for some of these roses. I'll do some moving around today and see if that helps, make sure it isn't a water issue, see what I can do... but may need to find a home for them. Cecile Bruenner and... yes, Abe Darby, are the worst right now. I'm worried about them.

It's cooled down for now, let's see how they recover.

Ground cherries are happy being potted out, as are the chives I filched from the enormous clumps at the Other Woman's place. Bamboo's feathering out nicely but man... those roses really worry me. The kiwis are great, still blooming, the violets look a little dry...

I need to stop right here and do a garden run. See you soon.

Garden Examination Pt I

Okay. side note: lavender's blooming, Crimson King Clematis has buds, baby's breath is about to bloom.

So, the roses so far:

The soil around Cecile Bruenner is just fine. It's damp, it has roots at least in the top inch or two.

Now for the problems: there are a lot of buff-coloured dead leaves that show no sign of blackspot. They just crunch off as if it were fall or something. Minimal inspection of the canes shows nothing amiss there. There is some blackspot.

Worse, one of the major flower candles (cecile bears lots of little roses on a branching stalk which I call here a candle) has a very wilted, pure green leaf on it even now in the cool morning. I'll keep an eye on that leaf and see if it comes back.

Brother Cadfael has some pretty bad blackspot and some defoliation which really surprises me -- it may not be blackspot after all. Blackspot's supposed to need seven hours of moisture on the leaves to infect and I really don't think it's had that in the last few days -- no rain, and when I watered it was warm enough.

If it weren't for that wilted leaf I might try subscribing to the 'water in intense sunlight works like a magnifying glass and burns the leaf' thing, and the traces of damage on Buttercup's leaves do look like they'd be consistent with water. That doesn't explain the wilted perfectly green leaves on Cecile, though. It -could- be fertiliser damage, too much fertiliser in the water drying on the leaves, but... last watering was water-only, no fertiliser, and so I should have noticed it then.

It may be root-bake given how damp the soil is, whereby the deck surface heats up in the sun and kills the lower roots that are resting on it. Then the plant can't uptake enough water, sheds leaves, and the water in the pot isn't useful because there are no roots to take it up. It could be root-rot and I'm overwatering.

Why, though, would buttercup have that odd pattern on its lost leaves?

On the whole I think it's probably baked roots. Cecile got it worst and Cecile didn't have any other pots shading his pot. I need to see what I can do to shade them and group them helpfully for this. If defoliation continues beyond what's consistent with some root loss (from wilt) and if stuff doesn't start looking better over this cool period I'll worry. As is I think I'll do some pruning, take some of this enormous burden of flowers off Cecile, cut Cadfael back, and see what happens.

Heritage, incidentally, is loomingbeautifully with her trademark perfect delicate shell-like blooms. She'll be the perfect match beside Buttercup when I can get them both going at the same time. Smells unbelievable. Everyone needs a Heritage as well as a Reine and an Abe Darby.

Abe Darby showed up on a whole bunch of 'most scented rose' lists over at gardenweb.

I still need something with the Mary Rose scent, though. Ambridge...

But on to pruning, breakfast, and dishes. I may even get some RP in -- I've been doing that lately and it's kind of nice. I did miss it.

And oh, yeah: my sunflowers are up. So pppthbt! to you, Juggler! ;)

Very Comfortable Indeed

Mmmkay. I'm on the tail end of an exercise high -- mom called and we went running for an hour earlier. It was a lovely, lovely run ten times around the track and then the there-and-back. I forget how much a track lap is again.

I generally feel good. My body likes to be used, i've got some stuff done around the house, I'm catching up on my sleep, I've talked to the Exotic a bit about some important stuff and it's mostly smooth sailing between myself and the SO. The lovely and very considerate Juggler called me last night to wish me a good-bye since I didn't see him at his place before I left, which really did make my night, and Heritage has really amazing blooms.

I'm flirting with the idea of RPing now, with the alternative being sleep. I'm well-fed and there's lots of yummy milk here, and the cool Winged One is on the game to chat with. He says he likes my characters which is quite a compliment, too.

Maybe 'settled' is the term I'm looking for - I feel settled, comfortable, at home, in harmony. Not flights of angels type harmony, but just good. Why?

In reality it's probably a combination of stuff being wrapped up with the Exotic, food, and exercise. The stress that's been on me for the last month or so has lifted pretty much completely -- it allows the usual stresses to come out again, sure, but it's a huge relief.

There's a nice mix of time to myself and stuff to look forward to, too, along with this recent decision to take care of myself and give myself permission to say no to stuff I don't want to do. That ability to say no -- to anyone, if I so decide -- is a really incredible thing. I really do feel head and shoulders taller than before, almost literally. All it really is is taking complete responsibility for myself and not waiting on anyone else to decide things for me in my own best interests, but there it is.

Two entertaining facts: after this last couple of weeks I'm developing interesting 'sex muscles', that is, the shape of my legs and hips is changing because I'm using a lot of different positions more often and those muscles are thus getting worked a lot.

The Juggler doesn't sweat salty. That is, when he sweats, he doesn't taste salty. I sweat very salty; there was a bit of crystallisation on me after the run today. Entertained? I am.

Be well. I'm off to luxuriate in my options.

For Posterity

I've been getting really terrible spams lately to one of my email accounts, really 'stereotypical' amateurish badly worded stuff. The sort of stuff you see in internet spam parodies. But this one needs to be recorded for posterity, just the subject line:

Shatter Her Vagina with Your Monster Prick ngclc i wegatamia(sic)

I'm extremely amused. Extremely, extremely amused.

Oh, and on Otherspace I'm flying a dropship-type shuttle over interplanetary distances, rigged up with tons of extra fuel but still...

Wish me luck. Oh, and laugh. :)

Why?

It's not about spelling. It's not about grammar. It's about this. Because:

Volauniiadae's boots glint from their drunken stance by the shore. Dropped tilted against each other in the sand they are at the head of barefoot tracks that lead into the water -- and doubtless through the water to the Vollistan girl who stands there thigh-deep in her clothing, brightening the morning sunrise with streaks of her own magenta light.

Volarn strolls out onto the beach, his heavy and battered boots sinking into the sand. He looks about, his eyes flashing along the shoreline, until they land on 'Dae. With a smile and copper swirls, he starts walking towards her.

Volauniiadae turns from the incipient sunrise with a smile touching her rosebud lips. Wide purple eyes fall on Volarn within a brightening of apricot light that swirls from that exposed skin; she makes no move to come out of the water, but her mind reaches out in a light quiet greeting that makes no effort to hide the pleased undertones.

Volarn takes that greeting and looks down at the water, which laps slightly at the toes of his boots. He stops with the water at about his ankles, apparently at an impass. This doesn't affect his extremely pleased return of the greeting.

Volauniiadae's smile widens into a little grin as her eyes drop to the other Vollistan's boots. Flashes of glittering pink and gold dance around her in lightning-chains and, after a second, she begins to wade towards shore. ~Don't you want to come in?~

Volarn looks down at the water, and then back up at 'Dae. ~No. It is a large ocean. And there are fish... Some of which most likely bite. And I don't swim well enough.~ The subtle undertext would point to more of 'at all,' instead of enough.

~It's fine. And I'm just standing here. Nothing will hurt you,~ Volauniiadae coaxes in a shimmering light that tilts into the peach ranges. ~It's not very deep.~ She continues to wade shorewards until she reaches Volarn, turning wide hopeful eyes on him. ~Have you ever been in the ocean here?~

Volarn shakes his head, and takes one small step further into the water, so that it laps at the tops of his boots. ~No.~ He glances at 'Dae, before sighing, softly, and kicking off his boots, and taking just a few small steps towards her. ~It is cold. And there are rocks.~ His mental tone is dubious, and accompanied by a rather doubtful thought of nothing hurting him.

Volauniiadae's grin spills over into brighter gold light when Volarn kicks off his boots and she reaches a hand for his. ~It's not that cold. It was warm out yesterday. There are only little rocks, it's mostly sand, and if you walk a lot you don't even feel them.~ She answers the complaints patiently, unirritated and still smiling.

Volarn takes the Vollistan girls hand, gripping it tightly as he crosses the remaining distance. He then wraps his arms tightly around her waist, as though determined to let the sea monsters take her first. Twinges of red and flame-like orange intermingle with the copper swirls.

Volauniiadae curls her fingers in Volarn's, and as he takes her in his arms her grin turns to a mere smile, quizzically. She wraps her arms around him in turn and nuzzles at the side of his neck lightly. ~Are you scared?~ she asks curiously.

Volarn shakes his head, very slightly. "No." He states simply. However, the emotion that he sends looks an awfully lot like fear. And for someone that isn't scared, he is doing a remarkably good impression. He staggers as a slightly larger wave washes up against him, his grip tightening around the Vollistan's waist, his arms crossing and then his fingers tucking into the top of her skirt.

Volauniiadae's confusion is evident, buzzing like static through her mind and triggering a swirl of odd orange-grey through her light. She doesn't follow up the question, though, her arms tightening reasuringly around Volarn in turn. ~It's okay. It's just water. On Vollista in Radiance they jump from the top of high cliffs and it's really deep and that can hurt you but here there's nothing that will.~

Volarn nods, very slightly. ~I know it's okay... People swim here all the time... Oceans simply frighten me.~ This statement is simple and honest, the with a jumble of thoughts and emotions behind it. He takes half a step backwards further into the water, as if in an attempt to conquer that fear.

Volauniiadae nuzzles a kiss into Volarn's neck and lifts her head away to smile encouragingly at him. ~You don't need to go in deeper if you don't want. It's nice here. Have you ever tasted the water? It's salty, like blood or sweat.~

Volarn stops dead at that, nuzzling his face into Volauniiadae's hair, the copper rebounding into his Light. ~Good.. And no, I haven't. Salt water isn't good for your digestive system.~

~You have salt inside, though,~ Volauniadae counters confidently, ~so just a taste won't hurt. And they make drinks with salt. But you don't have to taste it if you don't want.~ Her fingers sneak up to play with the hair at the top of the other Light Singer's neck, peach returning freely to her light. ~Is salt really bad?~

Volarn shakes his head. ~Not in small quantities, though it has tendecies to induce nausea, and raise (OOC: Insert whatever it is bad that salt does here).~ The copper is brightest around her fingers.

~So tasting it wouldn't hurt,~ Volauniiadae answers, grinning. Her grin stops abruptly, chased by a faint ripple of red and a stronger spray of blue. ~It never did before,~ she adds, more subdued.

Volarn moves one hand slowly away from 'Dae's waiste, dabbing it in the water and then licking his finger, once, and shuddering. ~It tastes salty.~ He quickly asks, ~What never did?~

Volauniiadae snuggles her chin onto Volarn's shoulder, facing back behind him, keeping her face averted from his. ~Salty things never made me sick,~ her mind murmurs quietly, body still clothed in faint blue.

Volarn blinks very slightly at this, and then sends a slight, confused thought, as he looks at her Light. ~What's wrong?~ he sends, just barely a mental whisper.

Dropping her arms to lock them around Volarn's waist, Volauniiadae snuggles close against the other Light Singer. Now she's the one seeking comfort as she lets veils drop momentarily over her mind to hold a flit of images away from him. ^Sweat tastes like seawater. It's salty,^ she whispers, and her aura darkens further.

Volarn frounds very slightly, hugging the Vollistan briefly and sending comforting thoughts at her, though they still contain a trace of confusion. ^Yes, it is.^ He then switches briefly to Standard and speaks about the chemical properties of sweat in confusing, large doctor words.

Volauniiadae breathes slowly and deeply, her head limp on Volarn's shoulder, just listening closely and letting the words flow soothingly through her mind. She lets the waves rock her very slightly.

Volarn tightens his grip as 'Dae rocks from side to side. He then asks, his voice barely a whisper, "Tell me about your travels?"

"I've always been traveling," she whispers, "ever since Yonie left Scintilla and I went too. Always. I haven't traveled so much now that I'm here. And when I do it's not far. It's going down the beach for a day, or somewhere for a week and I could walk back if I needed. I like being able to go back."

Volarn nods, very slightly, listening. "I meant, from the time we lost each other the first time to when I found you again a few weeks ago?"

"We just went. On the ship, we went. And then we got off on Quaquan because it was quiet. And then we came here. I didn't get off the ship much, before, cause I was with Yonie lots," Volauniiadae whispers, the hushed voice restoring somemeasure of self-posession. Her aura begins to tint with magenta again, magenta and peach, and she whispers very softly, ^I still think of Ashcolby sometimes.^

Volarn at the mention of the name, his Light washes, very briefly, with a dark, acid green, before the Aura returns to a more neutral shade of green, accompanied by copperish swirls. He speaks, very softly, ^Of course you do.^

The admission releases the veil from Volauniiadae's mind along with some burden, for the relief in the words she whispers now is nearly buoyant in nature despite her sadness. ^He was... when we... after sex he tasted salty. His skin. Like seawater. And it didn't hurt me. And I love him, Volarn but it can't make us both happy and so I dunno. I thought it should work but it doesn't. And I dunno. And it's been a long time. And I remember the way he was salty.^

The tiniest bob of his head is all the response that Volarn gives, and blue shades his Light, along with that sickly acid green, before his entire Light fades jerkily from existance for a moment, before it is replaced by a neutral, still green. His face contorts briefly, almost as though in pain, and then he starts, his voice just barely audible and his Volspak accented by his barely using his Aura, ^Of course it didn't hurt you..^ There is a long pause, and then states, ^You should do what makes you happy.^ This is accompanied by another pained look, and a slightly strained sound on his voice.

Day's mind is almost dreamy now, a whispered memory of the taste of sweat and sex in her mind laid over that ache of sadness or of loss. ^You can't always have what makes you happy,^ she whispers in her native language, testing the words as if they were strange on her tongue, ^you can't. It made me happy but I can't. What makes you happy, Volarn?^ She sighs quietly, turning her head on his shoulder enough to study the curve of his cheek.

Volarn stares for a very long moment out at the ocean, his face contorting once more as he examines this concept, also blocking out the memories of sex coming from 'Dae's mind. After that time, he states, his voice rather slow and slightly forced, ^Whatever makes you happy makes me happy.^ A small tic begins towards the back of his cheek.

^But what makes you happy that's not me?^ Volauniiadae asks, her mind curling around his closely, the curiosity closely linked with a search for some sort of distraction, some sort of reassurance. Gentle now her light tilts into the faintest of peach shadings, shivers and ripples of blue licking over it with each stray thought that passes through her skull. ^Did sex ever make you happy?^ her whisper continues, a wistful thread against the background roar of lapping waves.

The male Vollistan looks down at the girl for the first time in a while, a rather wistful smile on his face. ^No, Volauniiadae, you do make me happy. With your entire world outlook. And I don't ever want to hurt you. Ever.^ His Light breaks free from the bonds constraining it, letting loose a roiling sea of conflicting and changing colors, copper predominant among them. ^Yes, it does...^

^People hurt each other,^ Volauniiadae answers, her voice picking up volume around her sudden smile. She lifts her head from the other Light Singer's shoulder, purple hair spilling into her face even after she flicks her head to send it over her shoulder. ^But I know you won't mean to. So it's okay.^ A sudden gleam of gold in her aura marks the joy that pulses sudden and strong through her mind. ^Will going on this ship make you happy?^ she wonders, following up an idle thought.

...and we leave them to privacy on the livejournal. It's a really lovely hobby.

(Edited because of evil html annoying stuff.)