Okay. So the thing that's been bothering me is money stuff. Big or little, money stuff is a huge, huge, The One, The Only big hotbutton headkiller issue for me. It's big.
So I was having nightmares, last night, about a pizza I hadn't ordered arriving for me, delivery, and me not having the cash to pay for it. Sounds pretty minor, right? But it's all tied up with nightmare feeling, and ties into my money issues.
So then tonight I'm coming home from play rehearsal, right before which something happened to press my money/stress buttons pretty bad, and I'm waiting for the bus. There's a guy sitting at the bus stop prank-calling his friends. What is he saying? "Hello, this is Dominoes pizza, we have your pizza here, could you come down and get it?" and that sort of thing. He does this for the entire fifteen minutes we're waiting for the bus. Then he does it for the ten-minute bus ride, until I get off the bus to get to my house.
For fuck's sake, this is a little too surreal for my liking. You know that being-tapped-in-a-nightmare feeling?
So I was having nightmares, last night, about a pizza I hadn't ordered arriving for me, delivery, and me not having the cash to pay for it. Sounds pretty minor, right? But it's all tied up with nightmare feeling, and ties into my money issues.
So then tonight I'm coming home from play rehearsal, right before which something happened to press my money/stress buttons pretty bad, and I'm waiting for the bus. There's a guy sitting at the bus stop prank-calling his friends. What is he saying? "Hello, this is Dominoes pizza, we have your pizza here, could you come down and get it?" and that sort of thing. He does this for the entire fifteen minutes we're waiting for the bus. Then he does it for the ten-minute bus ride, until I get off the bus to get to my house.
For fuck's sake, this is a little too surreal for my liking. You know that being-tapped-in-a-nightmare feeling?
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Date: 2005-11-03 06:49 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2005-11-03 06:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 07:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 06:54 am (UTC)We're in a boat at night, carried along by a current we can't see. We don't know how long the voyage will last or if the way is clear, or rough, or outright terrifyning. We lie down to a journey outside of this world and the control and saety that goes aleng with it, our security springs from the security that the trip will end: though we will forget that we're in a boat, we will eventually disembark into the dark and silent waters of deep sleep or onto the sunlit terra firma of the waking world, leaving the boat behind.
But when the dreams stray outside of their realm, as we intuitively know they will when it the time is proper to them, it shakes the fundamental categories around which we trace our world. You're bouncing straight along on the bus, but you have one foot on a rocking dinghy.
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Date: 2005-11-03 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 07:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 07:55 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-11-03 07:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 07:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 07:46 am (UTC)I am often bewildered by my dream life b/c it's never about the possible or the future...it's about the past and fear.
Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 11:10 am (UTC)I have to say, re-reading that, that you're about the only person I'd leave such a rambling flow of consciousness sort of comment on. But it seems suitable, all the same.
Re: Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 03:01 pm (UTC)Re: Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 04:23 pm (UTC)I don't get on LJ much at all anymore. Just happened to get sent there to see something, and checked your page while I was there to see what all was up of late. I'd noticed you'd reappeared in the games recently. I'm scarce on OS and Chia of late, too, but always available by email, if occasionally procrastinatory in replies. You still have my email addy?
Re: Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 04:32 pm (UTC)Re: Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 04:44 pm (UTC)Re: Hugs
Date: 2005-11-03 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 12:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 04:38 pm (UTC)Traditional
Date: 2005-11-03 04:45 pm (UTC)Re: Traditional
Date: 2005-11-03 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-03 06:40 pm (UTC)CZ
no subject
Date: 2005-11-04 01:44 am (UTC)