Bah.

[greenstorm]

So what's with this? How come I feel so secure in some contexts, and so insecure in others? It really does seem to be context-related for me.

Should I remove the contexts that make me feel bad? Work through them? How can I tell which I should do? Should I try one and then the other?

Are my lifestyle choices adversely affecting my state of mind in a significant way? Is there any reason why I should be worrying this early in the game? Is there any reason why I am? Are my worries just worries, in other words, or are they based on any evidence?

Is guarding my enthusiasm worth it?

These late-night questions brought to you by the society for keeping people out of Greenie's house on weeknights. :P

Comments

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Often if you're insecure in a specific context it's because it's reminding you of a similar situation in the past where you had a sucky thing happen.

Or not.

Me, I like to take insecure contexts head-on until I figure them out. Of course I don't always do that; sometimes I chicken out; but I like to try at least.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

I always worry about how long I should spend. If something doesn't work after one year? Two years? If you're still miserable after three?

And there's no control-Greenie living over there, so maybe I'd be just as miserable? I never know.

[breklor.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you never know, right?

I don't have a General Rule for this. Sometimes you can tell something's Just Not Gonna Work, and sometimes you can't.

Sometimes it's okay that things don't work right as long as you get extra hugs.

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

It all comes down to defining okay and right. So difficult. :/

[breklor.livejournal.com]

This is true.

I'll leave the defining up to you, since it's your life, but if you need someone to rant to, or extra hugs, I'm around.

[seeker9.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[spirit-in-words.livejournal.com]

I see so much of my own thinking in yours, we both seem to have an interpersonal character.

Monique

[greenstorm.livejournal.com]

That's an interesting term to use, interpersonal character. I definitely have two sort of ways of being -- one where I don't connect to anyone, and ignore everyoen except as an environment. The other is where I do deep connections, put myself out for others, feel alternatively close to people and very lonely...

I've chosen the latter for myself, for the present. I suppose it makes sense to say that's an interpersonal character.

It's neat to know that someone else understands this stuff. :) Sometimes it feels pretty alone/different.