The Daily Breakup: Back to the well

[greenstorm]

I started writing another piece of relationship analysis: In a central relationship I need some throughlines or roles to be maintained, I want the role of "person to whom I go to first if there's big news" to be maintained, I like some level of constancy or some thread of dependability even when other stuff is going on unless it's a real logistical issue. Tucker's more... if he needs support or sex or companionship or to say goodnight, whoever's proximal is ok. It doesn't have to be anyone in particular. In fact, having a throughline or role with someone else while he's with someone is a liability, it wrecks the experience. Basically, he wants his vacations to be vacations from existing within the relationship. It's a fundamental difference.

But I got bored of that. I'm tired of looking backwards. I've spent the last month on writing and analysis of this thing. It doesn't nourish me. There are so many loose ends to wrap up still but I'm not even sure there's a benefit to me wrapping them all up vs leaving them hang and, if no one else wraps them up, just slicing them off when they flap around too much.

So instead of that I will go to comfort and understanding that I don't need to make from the ground up. I'll revisit my poetry tag, I'll read old posts, I'll walk in the garden.