The Work Thing

[greenstorm]

So, um. I've been in this diversity and inclusion workshop at work, I took it because I thought it would be interesting and it has been good but super triggering. It's reminded me of all the things normal folks can freely talk about with each other than I can't at work, etc etc. It's been shutting me down and putting me right out of commission. One of the guys who runs it is really good at what he does, good at listening I guess, and so I spoke up a little bit and after last week's session I stayed behind and was like "hey, all this stuff you're asking us to do around speaking up sounds great but I'm the only one up here and it's way too hard for me to do and figure out where to start right now and my workplace just doesn't feel safe enough to do this".

The one guy scheduled a follow-up call with me, which I just got off, and he asked about what I would want in a perfect world to support me right now. So I said:

Work covers diagnosis and trauma therapy; I have more flexible beginnings/endings of things -- not necessarily fewer hours, just I can move them around; I get more concrete info than "it's not ok to do this but it's ok sometimes" and I don't get weird looks when I ask for stuff around that; maybe bathrooms(?)

...and he added, and folks to talk to who have similar experiences.

He's going to introduce me to someone/maybe some folks who work at different locations of the same employer, and he's going to look into what he can figure out for trauma stuff and come back to me with that. This is the first time I've felt like I can talk about the whole thing with someone who believes me.

Regardless of what comes of this, I am trying. Trying implies hope for something better.

Maybe something can even be better here.

Comments

[yarrowkat]

hey, that's awesome! i hope he finds some real ways to make a difference for you. it sounds like he at least is safe and cares, which sounds like a huge improvement. maybe real change could come of this.

[greenstorm]

Yeah, he is over a thousand kilometers away so we'll see what difference he can make, but yes. If this fails for me it'll be because the system is too big and slow, not because no one cares or isn't trying to change it.

[yarrowkat]

that's something, anyway. and maybe he'll succeed, or at least make enough of a difference.

[greenstorm]

If not for me, maybe it'll be easier for the next person, or for someone who's just got just a little more ability to hang on.

[yarrowkat]

that's real, too. it sucks to be the trailbreaker on these social things but it really does help others. i was that person in my family - the first out queer in any generation, the first polyam person, etc. years giant fights with giant feelings about who gets to run my life, basically (and with one aunt, these ongoing arguments aren't even over, just on pause). my baby cousin? my cousin's kid, next gen? has had nearly no fights with our shared family about who gets to run their life and whether they're allowed to be queer & nb & polyam. so. i am lucky to get to know the person benefitting from my trailbreaking; that's somewhat rare i think.

[yarrowkat]

i can't remember where we were talking about land use and how tree planting isn't the only/always right answer. anyway, i think this is related: https://returntonow.net/2017/11/30/cows-can-turn-desert-back-grassland-save-planet/

[squirrelitude]

Good self-advocacy!