I am the wind and the wind is invisible
Mar. 29th, 2019 09:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
greenstormRestless. Grumpy. Intense. Reaching.
I can't settle.
Unless I'm outside for hours and hours every day my soul is unsatisfied. I need to build things, to alter the physical world with my hands. I need to plant more seeds and dig (but the ground is still frozen) and fence (but the ground is still frozen). I want to flirt and bite and get bruises.
Those are necessary conditions for the part I like, which is letting my eyes wander off into a bare patch of ground or a goose melting herself down into a nest of eggs and feeling, in the back of my mind, how the past and the future connect through me and what I've done in these moments.
So many things are going on right now.
I don't have the time to dive back into poetry but oh, it's so close to time.
This will be the summer I build structures: 2 greenhouses at least. Maybe I also need to build myself a reading cabin in back as well: big enough for a bed, no pets or scent so friends can stay in it, maybe a tiny woodstove for heat, no electricity. Back by the pond. Outside my little civilizing fences. A shrine to the part of me outside domestication.
Maybe there I can settle.
I can't settle.
Unless I'm outside for hours and hours every day my soul is unsatisfied. I need to build things, to alter the physical world with my hands. I need to plant more seeds and dig (but the ground is still frozen) and fence (but the ground is still frozen). I want to flirt and bite and get bruises.
Those are necessary conditions for the part I like, which is letting my eyes wander off into a bare patch of ground or a goose melting herself down into a nest of eggs and feeling, in the back of my mind, how the past and the future connect through me and what I've done in these moments.
So many things are going on right now.
I don't have the time to dive back into poetry but oh, it's so close to time.
This will be the summer I build structures: 2 greenhouses at least. Maybe I also need to build myself a reading cabin in back as well: big enough for a bed, no pets or scent so friends can stay in it, maybe a tiny woodstove for heat, no electricity. Back by the pond. Outside my little civilizing fences. A shrine to the part of me outside domestication.
Maybe there I can settle.
