Greenstorm's Journal

Oh, and there was a wolf outside the fence yesterday morning.

Thea was barking insistently in a weird spot, so I went outside and she was outside of the fence running back and forth the length of the house barking-- calling me. Once I was out we proceeded towards the back fence and behind the chicken coop (where I saw the lynx the first time, that spot is problematic in how it's fenced) was a...

...coyote? Right colouring, canine ears, but...

...it was big, head taller than the edge of the coop, was it a huge german shepherd, it was way bigger than any neighbourhood dogs...

...oh, those squinty eyes and cheek puffs are pretty distinctive, that's a wolf...

...which is outside the fence but not running away from me, thank goodness Thea is barking hard at it but keeping a little distance...

...oh, there it goes, and Thea taken off after it. Poor Avallu is crying and barking and really, really wants to go after it but he can't jump the fence like Thea did to follow.

Thea patrolled the back there for good half hour, she kept coming in and then jumping the fence back out again. I fixed the low spot in the fence eventually, they calmed down, I gave them breakfast, and the wolf was not back this morning. That's the first time I've seen one here, though I know they follow the river a kilometer away.

I was honestly expecting an early-riser bear come to get the brownies and margarine I still had from the power failure at the local store.

Very glad Thea got me instead of engaging first. She is a smart girl.

I wonder if all this wildlife is because of the fires a couple years ago, the rodent population would have spiked and might be on the decline now. It was a very, very mild winter too-- more pregnancies? More kits to be born, so more hungry mothers?

Restless. Grumpy. Intense. Reaching.

I can't settle.

Unless I'm outside for hours and hours every day my soul is unsatisfied. I need to build things, to alter the physical world with my hands. I need to plant more seeds and dig (but the ground is still frozen) and fence (but the ground is still frozen). I want to flirt and bite and get bruises.

Those are necessary conditions for the part I like, which is letting my eyes wander off into a bare patch of ground or a goose melting herself down into a nest of eggs and feeling, in the back of my mind, how the past and the future connect through me and what I've done in these moments.

So many things are going on right now.

I don't have the time to dive back into poetry but oh, it's so close to time.

This will be the summer I build structures: 2 greenhouses at least. Maybe I also need to build myself a reading cabin in back as well: big enough for a bed, no pets or scent so friends can stay in it, maybe a tiny woodstove for heat, no electricity. Back by the pond. Outside my little civilizing fences. A shrine to the part of me outside domestication.

Maybe there I can settle.