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Love like water
Jul. 3rd, 2023 10:32 amRight now it's my job to love all my animals super hard, and super carefully, and super thoughtfully. It's to make sure I spend lots of time with all of them letting them know they're good, and occasionally if they are not good figuring out what's going on and offering them an alternative. For the first several decades of my life I did this sort of thing without thinking, but since I've only recently recovered my ability to love this feels like jumping in to a very deep pool without taking a breath.
It leads to lots of lovely times, snuggling and watching, but also sometimes to just not knowing what to do and reminding myself to have patience.
Avallu is 7 today. I hate that I likely have fewer years with him in the future than I have had. So many tornjak owners have groups of 3-6, they're good in packs where they have traditionally protected sheep and generally done their intricate social structures. While Solly will keep my hands full for a couple years, I don't know that I ever want to be without a tornjak. Even with that, though, Avallu is unique. It's with him that I first really understood how much an LGD is a relationship partner rather than a being who takes commands. I've come to value his perspective deeply, and he trusts mine for the most part.
Thea has been doing magnificently with Solly and Avallu. She keeps them separated, and when Solly gets too energetic at chickens, Thea and I will glance at each other to see who will intervene. She also does magnificently with, for instance, the little black bear outside the back fence the other day. I appreciate more than ever how calm she is with the livestock.
Solly is learning fast, which means she's doing lots of experimentation. Aside from recall she doesn't have a clear trajectory, one day will be better and the next will be worse. Her recall is excellent because she adores my attention, and I am careful to call her back and snuggle her and tell her I love her often, so she doesn't associate it only with bad things or with being put in. She's maybe somewhat calmer with the geese, learning to walk by them slowly, but the chickens are so flappy and interesting I need to really figure out how not to have chasing them reinforced for her. I may have to build them a new coop. I am not entirely sure what her mouthy/grabbiness is supposed to achieve, I know she's trying to get me to do something, and she's doing it a little less. It's obviously not an ok behaviour to maintain since she's a huge dog, will be bigger, and can do real damage that way. At first I would give her a stick to chew on instead, and she would take those and chew on them eagerly but that led to her mouthing my arm more often. Now I just turn away. Need to think about this more.
I put 1300 square feet of potatoes in the ground yesterday, or rather, under straw. I have a couple rows left. It's difficult, whatever is going on with me, I had to sleep and rest for nearly two days to be able to do that, and then I woke up this morning with my arms and legs tingling and buzzing. I need to get myself in order for the doctor's visit this week and push for, I guess more tests, but I don't know which ones. At any rate I'll have potatoes. The straw is a great weed suppressant, and I'll put down chips in the rows between, and that'll give me an easier summer of management.
Forecast for the summer is steadily higher-than-average temperatures. The grain crops are not doing well, it's too dry, and farmers pulled off an early hay crop but it was small. Fires are staying away from my town for now but the situation is pretty worrisome.
I think less about that, though, and more the practice of love which my animals need from me right now. It's been a long time since I've had humans so absent from that part of my landscape. I feel like my 12-year-old self, growing gardens and snuggling with my dogs and rabbits and nearly completely divorced from the doings of humans.
Tomorrow I will have to get back to work after my week off sick and see if I can stay upright and awake. Send good thoughts please.
It leads to lots of lovely times, snuggling and watching, but also sometimes to just not knowing what to do and reminding myself to have patience.
Avallu is 7 today. I hate that I likely have fewer years with him in the future than I have had. So many tornjak owners have groups of 3-6, they're good in packs where they have traditionally protected sheep and generally done their intricate social structures. While Solly will keep my hands full for a couple years, I don't know that I ever want to be without a tornjak. Even with that, though, Avallu is unique. It's with him that I first really understood how much an LGD is a relationship partner rather than a being who takes commands. I've come to value his perspective deeply, and he trusts mine for the most part.
Thea has been doing magnificently with Solly and Avallu. She keeps them separated, and when Solly gets too energetic at chickens, Thea and I will glance at each other to see who will intervene. She also does magnificently with, for instance, the little black bear outside the back fence the other day. I appreciate more than ever how calm she is with the livestock.
Solly is learning fast, which means she's doing lots of experimentation. Aside from recall she doesn't have a clear trajectory, one day will be better and the next will be worse. Her recall is excellent because she adores my attention, and I am careful to call her back and snuggle her and tell her I love her often, so she doesn't associate it only with bad things or with being put in. She's maybe somewhat calmer with the geese, learning to walk by them slowly, but the chickens are so flappy and interesting I need to really figure out how not to have chasing them reinforced for her. I may have to build them a new coop. I am not entirely sure what her mouthy/grabbiness is supposed to achieve, I know she's trying to get me to do something, and she's doing it a little less. It's obviously not an ok behaviour to maintain since she's a huge dog, will be bigger, and can do real damage that way. At first I would give her a stick to chew on instead, and she would take those and chew on them eagerly but that led to her mouthing my arm more often. Now I just turn away. Need to think about this more.
I put 1300 square feet of potatoes in the ground yesterday, or rather, under straw. I have a couple rows left. It's difficult, whatever is going on with me, I had to sleep and rest for nearly two days to be able to do that, and then I woke up this morning with my arms and legs tingling and buzzing. I need to get myself in order for the doctor's visit this week and push for, I guess more tests, but I don't know which ones. At any rate I'll have potatoes. The straw is a great weed suppressant, and I'll put down chips in the rows between, and that'll give me an easier summer of management.
Forecast for the summer is steadily higher-than-average temperatures. The grain crops are not doing well, it's too dry, and farmers pulled off an early hay crop but it was small. Fires are staying away from my town for now but the situation is pretty worrisome.
I think less about that, though, and more the practice of love which my animals need from me right now. It's been a long time since I've had humans so absent from that part of my landscape. I feel like my 12-year-old self, growing gardens and snuggling with my dogs and rabbits and nearly completely divorced from the doings of humans.
Tomorrow I will have to get back to work after my week off sick and see if I can stay upright and awake. Send good thoughts please.
